Poor old Eric,

His year begins badly, with a sea of bad news.

 Firstly, the winter pressure payments are soon to end, putting him under financial pressure. Again. 

  Secondly, some cheeky Tottenham geezers went and won the Argos marathon transfer award. He was certain that this £5 prize would stay with South Division, and not go to Woods and Coules. What a travesty!

More worrying was the news from the Sussex Coast that his secret love child nearly died in a bizarre first aid course accident.  Little Clayton’s mother Henrietta Dunant rang hysterically with the news that he had been overcome by protocols, and collapsed.  Here we see the uncensored scene of his resuscitation and rescue. 

Lastly, Eric learns that “the Hut” was operational again.  “The Hut” is the work of Beelzebub Thrayle and the Priests of Standby.  Located in the car park at a major south London hospital. Just below the water table. Before its use by LAS it was the clinical waste store, when it was no longer needed as the over-spill mortuary. Damp and depressing, many crews prefer to wait in the ambulance rather than spend a morning with “Richard & Judy”

Eric lacked the courage to jump from the roof and eventually sloped off to P3 station, equally lavish in its facilities with the hope of de-fusing a row between Streatham and Control. But, not surprisingly all the crews were out.    Disheveled, our hero had a “road to Damascus” experience. (It seems that there was no nearer crew) and realised that he could turn his life and career around by joining the PC I PD scheme  (Please Can I Play Daddy?)

A carefully worded letter to Tom Martin-Goebbles and he was accepted onto the fast track to career growth.

Minutes later, Eric is now a duty officer, proudly sporting his new 2 pip epaulettes  as he races off to let the locksmith in to Bloomsbury Station.

 Meanwhile, elsewhere, a fire breaks out, (persons reported) and another crew cowers behind a wall, vestless.  Surely it’s not like this in America. ?

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