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Part
II. And the Story goes on...
Continued
from page 1
Eric got as far as the Dartfort Tunnel, but met huge tailbacks, and had
little
fuel. So he follwed signs to Darenth Valley Hospital, the NHS's
new megopolis. Confirmation of a future firebrigade takover was
made on seeing these signs which lead all the way to A&E.
He was unable to find a kent crew to give him some cover.  Aparently
they were all off the road, preparing welcome packs for the
droves of LAS staff who want to wear a grey uniform, and get
paid more. So many have now joined Kent that the south east of
england has sunk below sea level, resulting in the recent,
terrible floods. Nothing
for it but to lie low, and eric found the new morgue, and whilst it was very clean, he found it a bit chilly.
But his fur did not get wet. He
hates getting wet !
In a spirit of neighbourliness, Kent dump a lot of their waste in Essex,
(who doesn't?), and Eric hitched a ride in a yellow bag under
the thames and into the land of the big ear-rings .
Just for a laugh, he decided
to look at someone in a "funny way" at the Town and
County Club before urinating on an HP financed Golf GTi.
His continued survival owes itself to the fact that
everyone was busy shooting and stabbing each other nearby. (Our
legal advisors wish to make it clear that this had nothing to do
with the club or its clientelle....)
 Eric
was able to escape the
commotion by hitching a lift on an Essex Paramedic Response car
at scene and sneaked off to Chelmsford - home of
ESSAMs smart control HQ and extremely clean vehicles.
Shown here is fleet number
160 " typical of the well maintained,  undamaged
and comprehensively stocked fleet that makes Essex Ambulance
Service NHS trust one of the premier ambulance service providers
in the NHS pre-hospital arena."
(or so we are told to
say)!
 The
floods in the south east continue to deepen, so Eric decides to
head south west, in fact to Exeter and Westcountry Ambulance
Service. Having
only poached 36 LAS staff in the last 3 months the "english
riviera" is in less iminent danger of flooding.
Not far down the M4 eric received a plea from Royal Berkshire Ambulance
Service. It seems that one of their new breed of moustached
idiots, showing off to his hospital chums got stuck up
his own a*rse. This man Scott, held in low esteem by his
colleagues was disrespectful to Eric, and  London
Ambulance service. Unfortunately,
he was just too far up there, and could not be saved. He refused
point blank to let Eric appear with his vehicle, or any other
berkshire trucks. So here is the photo anyway.
Shame really, as the vast majority of Berkshire crews, are human, and
have a sense of humour.
A kindly patrol from Thames Valley Police found Eric stomping along the
M4  and
gave him a lift in one of their impressively fast unmarked blue
camera units on the
condition that we didn't reveal TANGO MIKE 287's callsign or
that they regularly race into Avon & Somerset's ground to
"try out the curves on the M5"
A very brief stay at westcounty ended with a raid,
and eric not being able to understand "imbe
slripprazafrog" (="he
has got away again") realised his accent would give him
away.
 He
hitched a ride from the last of last years solstis travellers up
the M5 to the west midlands, here seen making friends at Dudley
(pronounced " Duodlyyyye")
but he just could not blend in. Its an accent
thing!
Lovely people in West midlands, but dangerously close to Thrayleshire,
formerly known as Shropshire, where this type of site would
result in imprisonment. Anyway, they have no ambulance stations
any more, so where would they put the PC? So Eric set off again,
heartbroken.
Kettering was Eric's next refuge. Two Shires looked after him  well, and morale seemed good despite some ambulances made of blotting
paper that soaked up the rain and never dried out, and some
fantastic roadworks scheme that puts 9 miles onto Every journey
into hospital!
 The
authorities were closing in Eric had to flee: Cross country to
Bedfordshire & Hertfordshire who aparently have lovely
"BHAPS"
They were a bit busy with yet another train crash, but lent Eric
this car.
BHAPS suggested that if he was on the run from M16, cambridge would be a
safe place for him to stay as half the town and its graduates
are or were soviet spies, and would be able to tip him off !
 Spookily
enough, here is Eric with East Anglia, Cambridgeshire ambulance
service, with a curious looking ambulance. Careful observation
will show that this vehicle carried Chief Ironside around in the
70's before becoming a surveillance van in Quincy.
The CIA used it to hound ET before he made millions with BT, and at the
end of its servicable life, it came to england, where it fell
out of a USAF bomber at Mildenhall.
Continued.
BELOW. Part III
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Mail
me. flat_eric_london_ambulance@hotmail.com
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