"If I die before I wake", the song goes, "at least in heaven I can skate", but not in Southport, Merseyside the N.O.F fracture and L.V.F. capital of the NHS. Eric's Mersey Beat begins with Asystole, or was it Ainsdale? A popular standby point in the shadow of HMP Ontin 5 detention camp with its fences and gun towers.

To strains of "sign on, sign on with hope in your heart, 'cos you'll never work again" coming RT from MRAS's Control North Desk , Eric embarked on a "little piece of history repeating itself" A vicious rumour based purely on fact tells of a Mersey ambulance getting stuck in the sands. Not a problem except for the incoming tide. "sorry everybody!" Still this was a RRU and the Good Book of the Prophet Orcon says that these are disposable. The south westerly rip tide subsequently dumped some good equipment ont the beach at Prestatyn!

Eric hoofed it before the "busies" arrived "with a little help from his friends" the Lifeboat boys and went down the coast hoping to find some friendly artisans in Liverpool proper. Joy and pain followed. A brand new RRU, a "ferry cross the Mersey" and a tour of the Liver Building (Our hero is less welcome at Zurich Municipal, who insure LAS!)

More Standby at charming Allerton Maze, and Eric, not "a long haired luvver" but more a "sunshine baby from LA (s)" attended a tripple stabbing, beating and a double shooting outside the Post Office. But nobody saw nothin, (Allwrightmate) ESPECIALLY who had the wheels off his motor! MRAS Fleetcare didn't have armed back up, so bang went Eric's second car. Wanna buy the stereo anyone? Still, it was "nothing to get hung about"!

A therapeutic trip to Strawberry Fields took "forever" and - horror - as he hopped over the fence the Anfield massive were waiting for him. "let me take you down" thier leader goaded. They bundled our boy off to their station and commited gross acts of cruelty making cruel demands to the London Ambulance Service (LAS).

 Eric was just too "Bootle-icious" for them and heroically escaped. He got word of where his car was but arrived at Penny Lane just too late. "A fireman rushes in from the pouring rain", and asks for a haircut. "Very strange." Merseyside Fire Brigade was on strike so helplessly Eric watched his car burn. It was "pure dibble" in minutes.

This bitter strike was all about bad conditions, like being woken from their sleep by the ambulance service going to calls all night. Poor things. Still, not the time to get political so Eric headed off to PLEASURELAND, and particularly the TRAUMAtizer. He had "pictured himself on a boat on a river", not the bind bending ride that it was! He felt   very very ill. "Suddenly someone was there at the turnstile, the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" What was happening? Eric could see pink elephants, milk float fire engines and skylifts welded together from two stolen write-offs. Not just the bell that was a ringer- eh?

Eric made some great friends but some serious detox and drying out was needed.

Southbound again

Eric just had to gatecrash the Unimedix graduation dinner/dance in Hatfield! "Pioneers you are !" the Course Tutor sobbed "the future of pre-hospital care rests in your hands" Eric wasn't convinced and adopted a "see how they get on" stance. What he does know for sure is that his film was confiscated, and some of those graduates looked quite lovely in thier tiny little party frocks !

If you were there...send a copy of your photo to him at flat_eric_london_ambulance@hotmail.com

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