Flat
Eric had his release secured by the diplomatic efforts of Nicola
De Bullman, Essex’s Ambassador to Docklandia . What a babe, and
talented too! (photo too lush to publish here!)
He
fled the country assisted by Special Agent Cynthia Conley with a
flight to the United States of America.....He was heard to
mutter..."hmmm...maybe I need to check out those northern
girls...they do keep their boyfriends warm at night." It’s a
Beach Boys thing. (In Scotland, he wished they were all Caledonian
girls)
This
Boeing was not as cool as an RAF Nimrod, and they wouldn’t let him
fly it either,
so
Eric gets all buckled in for his long flight to the states.
First
stop....Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania....home of the Steelers.
About half way through the flight, Flat Eric was overheard talking
to one of the stewardess... something about a mile high club...
Flat Eric makes it to Pittsburgh
safely and catches his next flight to Lansing, Michigan.
He has a bit of a trouble with U.S. customs as they thought
he was a dog and were going to place him in quarantine for six
months. But they relented when he showed them he doesn' t lift
his leg to pee... after mopping up the customs desk, the U.S. agents
stamped his passport and sent him on.
Upon
boarding, he discovers he is sharing a flight with the newly
elected Michigan Senator Deborah Stabenow. He had a very
interesting conversation. He asked her if her
"dimples" were counted twice or confused the voters. Like
the ballot form. Ah, democracy!
Flat
Eric goes to the Delhi Township Hall to introduce himself to some
American firemen. This is hospitality not yet enjoyed with
London Fire Brigade, who like HEMS seem to have disappeared up their
own Category "A"s and refuse to reply to Eric’s emails
He meets with Rick Royston, Delhi Township
Fire Chief and two Delhi Township
paramedics. Chief Royston gives Flat Eric
a 25 year service pin and a full immediate retirement wiping clean
his IAP record. Flat Eric was heard muttering something about
"cash would be nice, too."!
Two
of Delhi Townships finest paramedics give Flat Eric a tour of one of
the emergency vehicles.
Flat
Eric was so excited to see such a fantastic emergency service
vehicle he piddled. Or it could have been the subzero temperature
that made him loose his bladder....he was noted to have problems
with his bodily functions...could have been the Streatham cider . Or
maybe fire in belly, "much womiting…."
Flat
Eric collapses in the middle of the tour of the Delhi Township fire
station. Delhi Paramedics Roger and Chapman work diligently on
saving their yellow VIP visitor.
Flat
Eric has a gross smelly accident all over himself as he is being
resuscitated and babbled "where’s Nick ?"
hopelessly. Hmmm that damn water/food again. No...it has to be
the Budweiser and pretzels he had just before his visit.
After
the heroic medical techniques of Delhi paramedics...Flat Eric is
resting comfortably. It was noted that Flat Eric kept repeating
while unconscious..."I want to go home.where are my
slippers" and was clicking his yellow heels together.
Upon awaking, Eric was heard to say...".I need a Midwestern
farmer's daughter and I need her NOWWWWWW
... I am freezing my nadgers off..." (Its cold out
there.)
.
Flat
Eric knew he must move on to his next destination in the
states...Connecticut. But was having great difficulty in accepting
the fact he must leave the farmer's daughters of Michigan and his
newly acquired love for American Midwest beer...the Budweiser and
pretzels that are served at the Crystal Bar in Holt, Michigan.
(yeah, a cheap plug, we know…)
Special
Agent Conley took him to a psychologist so he could discuss his
compulsions and neurotic episodes.
He
had a good session with Dr. Harry Piersma, Michigan State University
Counseling Center psychologist. It was learned in this session
that Flat Eric has an Oedipus complex...but then again when
you don't have one...you would be envious.
Eric
overcame his fears of leaving and has taken off to his next
adventure in the good old US of Cat A.
Flat
Eric. departed.. Agent Cynthia’s heart is broken......... To be
continued
Go
to next page US of Cat "A" part 2
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