Part 10

Flat Eric. LAS

This is Flat Eric LAS. The continued adventures of our much loved hero.

Back in the good old US of Cat "A"

 

 Flat Eric had his release secured by the diplomatic efforts of Nicola De Bullman, Essex’s Ambassador to Docklandia . What a babe, and talented too!  (photo too lush to publish here!)

He fled the country assisted by Special Agent Cynthia Conley with a flight to the United States of America.....He was heard to mutter..."hmmm...maybe I need to check out those northern girls...they do keep their boyfriends warm at night." It’s a Beach Boys thing. (In Scotland, he wished they were all Caledonian girls)

 

 

fbuckledin2.jpg (15710 bytes)This Boeing was not as cool as an RAF Nimrod, and they wouldn’t let him fly it either,

so Eric gets all buckled in for his long flight to the states.

First stop....Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania....home of the Steelers.  About half way through the flight, Flat Eric was overheard talking to one of the stewardess... something about a mile high club...

 



Flat Eric makes it to Pittsburgh safely and catches his next flight to Lansing, Michigan.
  He has a bit of a trouble with U.S. customs as they thought he was a dog and were going to place him in quarantine for six months.  But they relented when he showed them he doesn' t lift his leg to pee... after mopping up the customs desk, the U.S. agents stamped his passport and sent him on.
 

fSenator2.jpg (12501 bytes)Upon boarding, he discovers he is sharing a flight with the newly
elected Michigan Senator Deborah Stabenow.  He had a very interesting conversation.  He asked her if her "dimples" were counted twice or confused the voters. Like the ballot form. Ah, democracy!

 

Flat Eric goes to the Delhi Township Hall to introduce himself to some American firemen. This is  hospitality not yet enjoyed with London Fire Brigade, who like HEMS seem to have disappeared up their own Category "A"s and refuse to reply to Eric’s emails He meets with Rick Royston, Delhi fchief2.jpg (17797 bytes)Township Fire Chief and two Delhi Township paramedics. Chief Royston gives Flat Eric a 25 year service pin and a full immediate retirement wiping clean his IAP record. Flat Eric was heard muttering something about "cash would be nice, too."!

 

 

Two of Delhi Townships finest paramedics give Flat Eric a tour of one of the emergency vehicles.

 

treatment2.jpg (33203 bytes) Flat Eric was so excited to see such a fantastic emergency service vehicle he piddled. Or it could have been the subzero temperature that made him loose his bladder....he was noted to have problems with his bodily functions...could have been the Streatham cider . Or maybe fire in belly, "much womiting…."

 

Flat Eric collapses in the middle of the tour of the Delhi Township fire station. Delhi Paramedics Roger and Chapman work diligently on saving their yellow VIP visitor.

 

frevived2.jpg (24093 bytes)Flat Eric has a gross smelly accident all over himself as he is being resuscitated and babbled "where’s Nick ?" hopelessly.  Hmmm that damn water/food again. No...it has to be the Budweiser and pretzels he had just before his visit.

 

 

After the heroic medical techniques of Delhi paramedics...Flat Eric is resting comfortably. It was noted that Flat Eric kept repeating while unconscious..."I want to go home.where are my  slippers" and was clicking his yellow heels together.  Upon awaking, Eric was heard to say...".I need a Midwestern farmer's daughter and I need her NOWWWWWW
... I am freezing my nadgers  off..."  (Its cold out there.)
.

Flat Eric knew he must move on to his next destination in the states...Connecticut. But was having great difficulty in accepting the fact he must leave the farmer's daughters of Michigan and his newly acquired love for American Midwest beer...the Budweiser and pretzels that are served at the Crystal Bar in Holt, Michigan. (yeah, a cheap plug, we know…)

 

 Special Agent Conley took him to a psychologist so he could discuss his compulsions and neurotic episodes.

 

 fCounseled2.jpg (19834 bytes)He had a good session with Dr. Harry Piersma, Michigan State University Counseling Center psychologist.  It was learned in this session that Flat Eric has an Oedipus  complex...but then again when you don't  have one...you would be envious.

 Eric overcame his fears of leaving and has taken off to his next adventure in the good old US of Cat A.

 

Flat Eric. departed.. Agent Cynthia’s heart is broken......... To be continued

 

Go to next page US of Cat "A" part 2

 

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Flat Eric