London Ambulance Service

Blueing in patients

ATTENTION: To Hospital A&E depts

 

 The procedure of blueing in patients with acute coronary syndrome will be extended to other conditions.

As from 1 April 2001 (April fools day) London Ambulances will be "blueing in" (using blue lights and sirens) the following to your already over stretched A+E Dept.

 

1. Acute itchy teeth

2. Swollen hair

3. Too Much pain from fire in belly syndrome (especially if it radiates to other members of your family)

4. Heavy testicles post really hot bath's

5. All period pains of women from child bearing age

6. In-growing toe-nails

7. Uncontrollable farting

8. Any patient who hasn't been on blue lights before and fancies it.

9. Any patient regardless of condition when the crew are off duty soon. And know that they will be queuing for a trolley.

   

These nine conditions will arrive at your A+E Dept on blue light and sirens. As we cannot trust staff to make their own judgements and just to be on the safe side !!!!!!

This list is not exhausted, and we are sure that we will find more crap for you soon.