Bi-phasic & Dysphasic Defibrillators

Crew staff are reminded to take with them into EVERY CALL a Service issued defibrillator.

New light weight defibrillators are being rolled out across the service. There are two main types.

1) The Forerunner II, a bi-phasic AED which is detailed elsewhere and is widely held to be an excellent machine

2) The Orcon RRU 8 super light dysphasic AED. This compensates for the addled state of the operator’s mind and cerebral shearing resulting from G forces attending the call.

If attending a call in a rapid response unit, it is essential that the operator switches the machine to the “Dys” setting. Failure to do so will result in the voice chip offering helpful prompts. Correct operation is confirmed on powering up. The Orcon RRU 8 will dribble twice and announce “Connect budgie next to the flashing condom” and “attach pants to the patient’s bear”

Should a shockable rhythm be detected, the machine will give the prompt “I love you guys” and commence fighting with you.

Further information can be found in station toilets or by visiting www.lond.ambulance.freeuk.com

London Ambulance Service NHS Trust Plc. A wholly owned operating division of London Ambulance Group. Your home is at risk if you douse it in petrol. The quality of your calls may go up as well as down. Calls to 999 and 112 charged at the national free rate. We make no guarantees about anything. Past performance is as good as any indicator for the future. Your car may be repossessed if you do not fiddle enough subs. Not regulated by ISA, IMRO or ABTA (though a nice fortnight in the sun would be good) but subject to occasional scrutiny from sound-bite politicians and the local press.